Moving On From the Hurt

I was talking to my treatment group once about forgiveness and I was a little taken back by the level of UNforgiveness I heard. They spoke in no uncertain terms of their desire to see their offenders mercilessly destroyed.

It's interesting to me how I can talk to people for days on end about forgiveness only to realize that I'm not making ANY headway. Some people have decided...no, it's stronger than that...they have VOWED to not forgive. That's a scary thing. They have no idea what they are doing to themselves.

Jesus said that the evil one comes to steal, rob and destroy us. I'm convinced that one of his schemes of destruction is unforgiveness. It's like a cancer that eats away at your soul every day you allow it to be there. Yet we believe the lie that unforgiveness empowers us.

Forgiveness sets you free from that cancer. We don't need to forgive the small things. We forget those things. It's the BIG things we need to forgive; abuse, betrayal, divorce. We forgive because we CAN'T forget. If we don't forgive we are cursed to carry the pain for the rest of our lives. How foolish is that?

If someone hurts you once...why do you want to marry yourself to that person through hatred and revenge, allowing their memory to hurt you over and over again? You invite them back into your life everyday to abuse you one more time. The best thing you can do for YOURSELF is forgive. Move on. Take back your life. Let God deal with your abuser/betrayer.

My class had a 60 year old man and a 20 year old girl...both trapped in unforgiveness. The 60 year old had been that way his entire life...and it showed in every deep line on his face. I hoped the girl saw what I saw. I wanted to ask her...is that what you want to look like in 40 years? Is your bitterness and resentment worth it? Her hatred doesn't hurt her offender...only her.

If she DID hurt him with some act of retribution, what would that achieve? Then she would have to deal with the guilt and consequences. Plus, she would reduce herself to her offender's level.  I want her to have a good life. I want her to be free to reclaim her life. Forgiveness is her only hope. Could it be yours too?

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