Connecting the Dots to Past Pain

People don't give themselves much credit.

Does that describe you? They see dysfunction in their life and assume that they are just messed up. They are deficient by nature and will never get any better. There are haves and have nots in the world and they conclude that they  are one of the have nots.

This is shame.  We all have it to some degree.  But if you look deeper...if you connect the dots in your past...you'll see that you aren't "just messed up".  There is a theme. There is cause and effect.  And once you see that then you don't feel like such a misfit.  It breeds hope.

The lie we believe is that if something is wrong inside...we are ALL wrong.  Not true.  Another lie is that if something is wrong that it can't be fixed. Not true either. Don't give up on yourself so easily.

You can break the pattern of your past. You can reverse the trend. It's cause and effect. First you have to believe it's possible. Then you need a plan. And finally,  you need to take action.

My point is...give yourself some credit. You have issues. Sure. We all do. But there is something you can do about them. You don't have to stay stuck. God is present right now to help you move to a better place.

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Are You Worthless or Just Flawed?

Shame is rooted in the lies we believe about ourselves. Where there are no lies there is no shame.  A big lie that many believe, in one form or another, is that we are worthless.  We see a flaw, an imperfection or defect in ourselves and we take the flying leap of logic that if we are flawed we might as well give up. 

That’s a huge mistake. 

Here’s a secret that you might not know: we are all flawed. No one is perfect. We all wrestle with something. There. Does that help?  It doesn’t fix your flaw but another lie of shame is that YOU are the only one with a problem. YOU don’t fit in. Everyone else has their act together. YOU are a misfit. 

Don’t go there.   

It helps to know that we are all in the same boat.  We are all flawed. We all need help and that’s why rather than pointing the finger at each other we should come together to help and encourage each other. Most people work very hard at covering up their flaws. But don't be fooled. They are there. You are not alone.

The Bible tells us that something happened to us as a race.  We lost something.  Something’s missing. It’s been that way from the beginning.  That’s not a lie. That’s the truth and we all know it.   There' no need to beat each other up about it or judge people for it.  

But it's helpful  to know what kind of material we are starting with when we seek to find healing for our hurts. Denying our flaws only prolongs the healing. Embrace the flaw and move on. I can’t get healing for my disease until I admit I have it.  Don’t let the shame of your issues cause you to go into hiding. Face the truth. Admit your flaws and seek help. And most importantly...invite God into the process. He knows what’s missing. He will lead you to a place of help and healing if you listen and follow.

To learn more check out Healing the Hurts of Your Past.

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What is Theophostic Prayer Ministry (TPM)?

In my book I make a brief reference to Theophostic Prayer Ministry (TPM). Put simply, it is one of many forms of prayer for inner healing of emotional wounds.

A little background as it relates to me. About twelve years ago I was doing a lot of counseling at church and getting pretty frustrated. It didn't matter what I told people...it didn't matter how powerful the truth was...people weren't finding freedom on a consistent basis. That just seemed wrong to me.

Then a fellow pastor shared with me a video series on prayer for inner healing. It was about a new approach called Theophostic Prayer.  The word theophostic simply means "God's light". It refers to God revealing the source of our emotional pain and then healing us. I watched the videos and I was struck by the simplicity of it. I'm over simplifying it here but it basically involves a prayer facilitator helping a person find the source of their emotional pain through prayer.  

I was trained in this technique and worked with many clients. I then trained a few people in my church who built a ministry around this technique. We have seen hundreds of people set free from deep issues of depression, shame, anger, etc. as a result. The frustration that I  had in my previous counseling experience evaporated as person after person found true freedom.

Sadly, TPM has taken some criticism from people that don't understand the nature of it.  However when you compare the few who have criticism to the tens of thousands of people using this prayer ministry in over 150 countries worldwide the criticism becomes minuscule. Also, TPM has been maligned, not so much for the process but the facilitator. As with any counseling profession, there are good counselors and bad ones. But we don't negate the counseling profession just because of a bad counselor. So don't let the criticism of TPM scare you away.

My book, Healing the Hurts of Your Past,  is an excellent primer for TPM, that is, it doesn't teach you how to do it but it helps you understand the role that lies play in our dysfunction and how we can find true freedom. 

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