Are You Worthless or Just Flawed?

Shame is rooted in the lies we believe about ourselves. Where there are no lies there is no shame.  A big lie that many believe, in one form or another, is that we are worthless.  We see a flaw, an imperfection or defect in ourselves and we take the flying leap of logic that if we are flawed we might as well give up. 

That’s a huge mistake. 

Here’s a secret that you might not know: we are all flawed. No one is perfect. We all wrestle with something. There. Does that help?  It doesn’t fix your flaw but another lie of shame is that YOU are the only one with a problem. YOU don’t fit in. Everyone else has their act together. YOU are a misfit. 

Don’t go there.   

It helps to know that we are all in the same boat.  We are all flawed. We all need help and that’s why rather than pointing the finger at each other we should come together to help and encourage each other. Most people work very hard at covering up their flaws. But don't be fooled. They are there. You are not alone.

The Bible tells us that something happened to us as a race.  We lost something.  Something’s missing. It’s been that way from the beginning.  That’s not a lie. That’s the truth and we all know it.   There' no need to beat each other up about it or judge people for it.  

But it's helpful  to know what kind of material we are starting with when we seek to find healing for our hurts. Denying our flaws only prolongs the healing. Embrace the flaw and move on. I can’t get healing for my disease until I admit I have it.  Don’t let the shame of your issues cause you to go into hiding. Face the truth. Admit your flaws and seek help. And most importantly...invite God into the process. He knows what’s missing. He will lead you to a place of help and healing if you listen and follow.

To learn more check out Healing the Hurts of Your Past.

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Loved Before You Were Born

In attempting to describe unconditional love I often refer to the love of a parent. If you are a parent you'll get this. When does a parent first love the child? When it's born?  When it becomes viable in the womb? When it was conceived?  Most parents tell me that they loved their child even before conception. They loved the child even when it was a hope or a dream in their mind.


I can  tell you when you didn't first love your child. It wasn't when they performed well for you! Some parents might wait a lifetime for that!  Think of the first year...lots of diapers and late night feedings. Not much performance to get excited about there. Or think as they grow...all of those household chores and lawnmowings that they never did or did well. Imagine a parent that withheld their love waiting for their child to reach a certain level of achievement (unfortunately, they exist but I think you know what  I'm saying). 


If we, as humans, can offer unconditonal love for our children...how much more can God?  The Bible tells us this...


Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. Ephesians 1:4-6, The Message

The heart of overcoming our shame lies in understanding that we are loved by God apart from what we do. Period. No "but's" or "what about's". When you can embrace that truth in your innermost being then the pain of your shame will begin to melt away.

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