In attempting to describe unconditional love I often refer to the love of a parent. If you are a parent you'll get this. When does a parent first love the child? When it's born? When it becomes viable in the womb? When it was conceived? Most parents tell me that they loved their child even before conception. They loved the child even when it was a hope or a dream in their mind.
I can tell you when you didn't first love your child. It wasn't when they performed well for you! Some parents might wait a lifetime for that! Think of the first year...lots of diapers and late night feedings. Not much performance to get excited about there. Or think as they grow...all of those household chores and lawnmowings that they never did or did well. Imagine a parent that withheld their love waiting for their child to reach a certain level of achievement (unfortunately, they exist but I think you know what I'm saying).
If we, as humans, can offer unconditonal love for our children...how much more can God? The Bible tells us this...
Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. Ephesians 1:4-6, The Message
The heart of overcoming our shame lies in understanding that we are loved by God apart from what we do. Period. No "but's" or "what about's". When you can embrace that truth in your innermost being then the pain of your shame will begin to melt away.
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One thing I've found is that people often don't give themselves much credit. They see dysfunction in their life and they assume that they are just messed up. They are deficient by nature and will never get any better. There are haves and have nots in the world and they are one of the have nots.
But what I do in my book is to help you connect the dots of your past. There are roots of shame that everyone has. Each root typically produces a number of lies that speak to us on a daily basis. It's no wonder we have the problems we do. If what we believe about ourselves is wrong then our behavior will naturally be wrong (self-defeating). Garbage in. Garbage out.
My book helps diagnose the garbage that has gone into your life. You'll learn about the lies you believe and what caused them in the first place. I then show you why those lies cause the dysfunctional behavior you have. But more than diagnose the problem I help you to see how you can break the patterns of behavior that the lies have produced in your life.
My point is...give yourself some credit. You have issues. Sure. We all do. But there is something you can do about them. You don't have to be stuck. God is present right now to help you move to a better place.
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